Wednesday, October 27, 2010

The Dark Knight Rises: A Review Starter Kit.

Christopher Nolan has revealed the title of his third Batman film (Batman 8 if you're counting*) to Hero Complex and it's The Dark Knight Rises. We also know that the villain will not be The Riddler so stop that photoshopping of Tom Hardy in green tights even though his musculature is undoubtedly fun to move one's cursor around. What? Okay, you may leave the question mark upon his chest because we still don't know who he is. We just know he's not The Joker, Mr Freeze, Two Face or The Riddler.

Now that we have this much info the reviews can practically write themselves. Blurb Whores all over the internet nation may now commence structuring their reviews...
Little intro --  The Dark Knight is the best -- It's been 4 years since The Dark Knight blah blah blah but in that time, Nolan has proven himself the greatest director who ever lived, even without the pointy cowl etcetera etcetera  Inception is a masterpiece ...more here. And other stuff yadda yadda but it must have been daunting as The Dark Knight is untoppable!

[Provocative question here] 'OR IS IT?' [insert "after the jump" here. Increase page views!!!]

Very thorough plot description.  [spoiler warning] plot point someone dies / is not who they appear to be / becomes  [/spoiler warning] Describe favorite action scene (reference truck flipping from Dark Knight -- even cooler than that no really) end with more plot.

Christian Bale continues to be [insert whatever I thought of him before] proving that he had more fight left in him, bulking back up after his Oscar nominated emaciation in The Fighter. But blah blah Batman has the best rogues gallery of any superhero and once again blah blah villains etcetera. Something about whichever girl gets cast and a defence of Chris Nolan's critiques that he's no good with female characters etcetera etcetera  -- But Tom Hardy steals the show. He's AWESOME as The Riddler _______ and deserving of Oscar attention. 
And here's some concluding hyperbole. If the Academy knows what's good for them they'll nominate this one for Best Picture. Grand finish with hopeful plea for a fourth Nolan Batman picture. 

* I know I'm the only one who is counting but it's not like people claim there's only 6 or 7 James Bond movies just because that series stops and starts with new Bonds and new decades and creatives and whatnot.

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