Tuesday, November 2, 2010

White Trash Cameo Hameos Forever!

Since America proved tonight at the polls (yay democracy!) that we are all just one tiny step away from being uneducated white trash who vote against our own interests and functioning society -- seriously if there's no government, who will pick up the garbage, who will protect us if someone breaks into our homes, who will make sure our children aren't as idiotic as we are? --  I thought this might be an appropriate way to "celebrate"!

White Trash Cameos!

God bless Catherine at the Guardian for the word "hameo". Maybe she didn't invent the word (?) but I was unfamiliar and I will now use for-e-ver.

The article is inspired by the hot mess bliss of Juliette Lewis in Conviction and features a spot on appraisal of what Ms Lewis does for and to the film (I'm sorry my article on Lewis is so delayed). Catherine surveys memorable "hameos" and then asks readers for theirs. You must read the comments section. It's joy upon joy upon joy... a veritable stack of blueberry pancakes smothered in syrup (the hefty portions of bacon on the side are a given).

Weirdly Catherine cites Keanu Reeves in The Gift (which, if you've never seen it is like THE perfect embodiment of "erratically acted movie") as an, uh, problem. My favorite so-terrible-maybe-it's-good? performance in that 'Cate Blanchett is Totally Psychic!' movie actually belongs to none other than Hilary Swank (the defacto star of the movie that Lewis is currently stealing away).

In The Gift Swank plays, you guessed it, Poor White Trash. But she's doing it with this absurdly tinny/squeaky little girl voice. To this day, I can hear her bizarre line reading of "I was thinking baaaad thoughts." It's literally the only thing I remember from the movie. That and Katie Holmes's  Demi-Moore-like breast baring, which is to say: she got those babies out emphatically, as if her career depended on it.

What is it about playing white trash that makes actors go so bonkers? They always become cartoons.

"People heare bout what yer doin' and they laugh at yyyeeeewwww"

I'm going to DisneyLand!

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